Thank you so much for your support after I recently announced my upcoming bottom surgery. It's so wonderful to know how many people in my life, and even through the sharing of words and newsletters, are able to share in joy and excitement for me at such a meaningful time of my life. I feel so fortunate to have such amazing people in my life who care and who are there for me when I need, and who are able to share joy in things that years ago seemed all but impossible.

People have been asking me lately, "What do you need from me? How can I support you?"

I'm blown away. Most of the time, I don't know what to say. So many of my most pressing needs are met, but there are some things that I'll throw out there for anyone who is looking for a way to support, because people are asking, and because even the things I may not need in the strictest sense, could be very helpful and I could really use.

I want to be clear, I don't want any type of material support from anyone who can't afford it, and I don't measure friendship points, and I certainly wouldn't ever equate them with dollars or anything else. You're golden.

How you can support me

Material support

Honestly, I could use financial support. I'm a broke anarchist trans stargirl who writes shitposts online about how much she loves tentacles and hates money and how capitalism ruins tomato sandwiches and stuff and is a stay at home mom who spends time doing activism and volunteering when possible and does her best to be the best trophy wife she can be. My spouse loves having a trophy wife. It's their dream to have a trophy wife. I do my best. It costs money to be this pretty.

In all seriousness, we don't have a lot of money which is great for my street cred as an anarchist but also I exist in this system and want to keep existing even if I don't want the system to keep existing and the forces under which we live force me to have at least some money. Most of you may recall, I've been through a lot this last year with unexpected hospitalizations and other big stuff I haven't even brought up in my newsletters, but big. We've received so much support there, as well, for which we are so grateful, and I feel guilty accepting more help, but even so, all of what has happened has still taken a toll.

I've spent so much time and money that we didn't really have to make this surgery happen. Money I would have struggled emotionally so much more to spend than I already struggled if it weren't for my most amazing spouse who wants this for me and for us as much as I do. I've been spending hundreds, sometimes over a thousand dollars a month at peak, just for the required hair removal alone, for the last couple of years. I'm required to rent a place to stay for the initial weeks of healing in an expensive city where the surgery takes place, deal with travel and food costs, etc. That's just a start. My spouse has paid for so much of it. I worked a small job cleaning a short-term rental and put every dollar toward this and sold a bunch of my stuff to help afford it.

The point is, we've sacrificed so much to make this happen. We wouldn't have sacrificed so much for this if it wasn't that important, but it is that important.

We've been able to make it work. Goddess, I don't know how, but we have. And I'm so fortunate. I feel like we just need to pass the final stage of this process and we're home free, at last.

Odds are, we will ultimately be okay even without financial support, but where things stand, I wouldn't deny people who want to contribute to help defray the costs a little bit as it gets so close to the surgery date. It would be nice to have a buffer since we're cutting it close.

But can I also combine this type of support, if this is the type of support someone would like to give, with a request for something I want?

If I'm being brutally honest, aside from me being a trophy wife, my spouse really wants me to spend more time writing and has for yeeeaaarrrrs. That's also awesome because it's what I want, too.

I want it sooooo much.

And I would really like some help with this. No, I need help with this.

As much as I love it, it's a lot of time and work, and I'm wondering if I could persuade more of you at this time to consider a paid subscription at whatever price you can comfortably manage– you can do so for literally as little as a dollar a month, or more if you can swing it. And you can cancel whenever you feel like it, no worries, no problems. And while a small subscription tends to be the best way to support in the long run, I also happily and gratefully accept single-time contributions, if you prefer, at whatever level you like.

It's not a tit-for-tat, and you know I write on my own schedule, but I think it's evident how much work and care I put into my writing both in terms of quality and quantity (over 30 articles this year so far, and we've months yet to go), and I have so much more in development and things to tell you. Additionally, you know I spend much of my extra time volunteering and being involved in activism, and your support can better enable me to continue with this work.

You would simply be my benefactor, helping a broke trans girl do the writing you already enjoy reading and also supporting her through one of the most difficult and also joyful, and also expensive times in her life.

Personally, given how things currently are, I would feel much more comfortable with this type of financial support than if I were to start a campaign on a fundraising platform, for example.

And you would be helping me fulfill two dreams, not just one. Transition isn't simply about surgery and hormones, it's about self-actualization, becoming who we are and asserting ourselves in the world, so that when we speak, it's with our own voices.

Also, to put this in perspective, since January, by my estimate, based on my typical article length and number of newsletters/posts– I've put out enough words through this newsletter this year already to equate to a full-length novel, and I do it all because I want to, and I like to keep it free for whoever wants to read it. But yeah, I could really use your support to keep that happening.

And, you know, I would also love you to just keep sharing the pieces you enjoy, or are thought provoking, or just peak your interest. Share my writing through social media, but maybe also, use it as an opportunity to strike up a conversation with a friend you haven't spoken to in a while. We need more direct connection with each other. I would be honored to be the excuse you use to reconnect with a friend.

And self-indulgently, I admit that I really love to see my subscriber numbers grow. I love to know that people are reading my work, including you– yes, you. I fucking love it.

Get in touch! This is really important

If you know me, even if it's been forever, schedule a video chat with me for when I'm healing, or visit me if you're close enough! I want to reconnect with you, too! I want nothing more than to see your smiling face, sharing in the joy of connection and friendship. It will truly help so much with the healing process, especially for the first couple of months.

And if you don't know me, y'all, I live for your emails and messages and replies and comments on all of my regular posts, let alone at a time like this. I absolutely love the messages I've received sending congratulations and warm well wishes. I value them dearly.

Tell me stories. Give me tips on healing. Give me tips on your favorite straps and vibrators (tips on tips?), especially tentacles, so I know what to get for when I heal. Give me anti-fascist book and activist zine recommendations. Give me romcom movie and rpg video game recommendations. Tell me about your favorite star in the cosmic ocean. Tell me about your days and your life.

Again, sharing in the joy and connection helps so much with the healing process.

Support your trans friends

Even if you're not in a position to support me directly at this time, reach out to your trans friends. They're not okay right now. Ask them if they need anything. Be there for them in whatever way you can. Offer your time, offer them money if they need it. A lot of them really need it. Bring over a pizza and have a drink or a smoke with them. Listen to them. Really listen.

Ask them what they need, but also anticipate what they need. Push them to accept help because trans people spend lifetimes sacrificing so much, they are in the habit of even sacrificing who they are for the comfort of other people. It's often difficult to get them to accept help. It's taken me a lot of work and, honestly, desperation, to learn to accept help for myself.

Stick up for them, fight for them even when they're not around. Don't let a single person feel safe saying anything even slightly transphobic in your presence. You can be gentle with those that are well-meaning, but still be firm. Gloves off for the malicious.

Show up for your trans friends, but also for the trans people you don't know, show up for all of us, even the ones you don't like.

Show up when the community needs activists. Show up to protest, but also show up at your own work and don't let your employers get away with transphobic policies. Don't roll over, certainly without a fight.

I don't know what else to ask for

This is a wild world.

Right now, I'm feeling all sorts of feels, but one of the biggest that I'm doing my best to focus on right now is this. I'm finally going to feel relief. I feel so much joy in anticipation. I feel so much warmth and comfort in the people who are here for me. I feel joy for you reading my work and for your caring and support in every form. I feel so much love from so many places.

This surgery feels like such an analogy for the world in this moment. There is brutality, but also beauty, and when we take care of each other and ourselves, there is also healing.

From the bottom of my goddamned heart, thank you so much for your support, in all ways.

no ends, only means